Singapore 2004

Soft is the velvet night sky
Quiet is the black night
A gentle breeze passes by
In stillness I patiently wait for Dawn

 YmC Sophia Road, April 2004 

I wrote this poem by my balcony back in 2004. I had returned back to Singapore because one of my very close relatives had lost a tremendous amount of our family estate's wealth gambling on the stock market. It was a sum most people will never see in their life time yet this person who is so frugal with her pennies somehow managed to lose a colossal sum in a matter of years. It was a fucking huge sum of money. It wasn't just all gone. She had also managed to mortgage our properties to her debt. We were in deep shit.

To compound matters - she was unrepentant. It wasn't her that called me back - it was the bank credit officer who did. She didn't even have the courage to let us know we were being made bankrupt through her ineptitude. The interest we owed to the banks amounted to an annual salary. I could not walk away from this disaster because of the family legal connections.

The relative refused to admit that she fucked up and kept on insisting that I hand over more cash and to let her handle it. The utter stupidity of her request was really beyond her comprehension.

Clearly she was deluded and verging on insanity. She refused any form of counseling and refused to talk to anyone who did not see the situation her way.
 
But I managed to convince her to go back home to Australia and let me take care of the problem. And so I took over the problem, sent the relative back home, and tried to settle the debts. I remember thinking back then - "How the hell am I going to fix this shit up?" I may have even promised God a few things I couldn't really deliver - go figure.

But I do remember sitting by my balcony, and enjoying the tranquility of the night air (with the exception of those pesky mosquitoes.) It had a certain calm, cool, fragrant, even enchanting delightful feel.

After about a year I managed by the Grace of God to make an untenable financial situation very bearable. Amazingly enough!!! Good heavens I felt I was the king of the world. I fixed it!!!! It was going to be alright!!!

Unfortunately my close relative didn't see it that way. Once everything had been settled- she kept back with a vengeance. Like a demon out of hell she dragged us back into the bonfire again, except this time - it was even worse. So I guess I'm still waiting patiently for Dawn again.

The wait is long. And I'm tired.